Book: Healing Is…Finding Yourself Again

Healing isn’t about forgetting what happened or even forgiving the person who gave you heartbreak. Healing isn’t about wearing a stupid half smile or chuckling the fake laugh.

Healing is something that only involves you.

Healing is forgiving yourself, for everything…

       for thinking that you did something wrong

       for thinking you should’ve been smarter

       for thinking that you were too stupid to see the signs

       for thinking that you are less than

       for thinking you deserved the abuse

       for believing the lies

       for believing you didn’t have the confidence

       for allowing yourself to fall in love

       for allowing yourself to fall in love with the devil

       for making excuses for them

       for making excuses for their behavior

       for lying about the bruises- visible and invisible

       for pretending

       for pretending

       for pretending

       for telling your children that the narcissists didn’t mean it

       for telling yourself the same lie

       for going back

       for going back in time

       for living in the past

       for staying

       for staying in the present

       for pretending the present is ok, was ok, will be ok.

       for enduring the heat of hell

       for telling yourself that you’re ok

       for telling others you’re ok

       for telling your heart to take him back

       for being angry about being the only fighter

       for letting your guard down one time, two times, three times and then back to one

       for just giving in to avoid the fight

       for being too afraid to fight for your own life

       for being too beaten down to see past the blood

       for allowing the blood to dry

       for feeling sad, lonely+ depressed

       for feeling like you can’t

       for feeling like you can’t contribute anything to the world

       for letting them word slice you one more time

       for taking it

 Healing is not about what you allowed, believed, pretended or felt like.

Healing is rebalancing your center.

Healing is letting go of expectations and creating+accepting new ones of yourself- none of them

Healing is forgiving yourself

Healing is internal peace

Healing is a new+renewed strength

Healing is crystal clear clarity

Healing is open heart surgery

Healing is choosing peace when anxiety wants to scare you

Healing is silence

Healing is being bigger than the fear

Healing is trusting God

Healing is faith

Healing is love

Healing is knowing yourself again

Healing is finding yourself again